Wish (Chapter)

"I'm sorry... I want you to let me do it just once. Let me believe in myself."

- Eren makes his choice

Negai (願い) is the 4th and final chapter of the 16th volume and the 66th chapter overall of the Attack on Titan manga, written and illustrated by Hajime Isayama.

Overview
About to inject the Titan serum and transform, Historia recalls memories from her past involving Ymir, Frieda, and her time as a trainee in the 104th Training Corps. After having a flashback of Ymir telling her to live her life with pride, Historia abandons Rod's plan and instead attempts to release Eren. They reunite with Levi's squad and prepare to escape, however Rod ingests the serum and begins to transform into a Titan. Faced with a crumbling Wall and a towering Titan estimated to be larger than the Colossus Titan itself, Levi tells Eren to make his own choice. Eren believes in himself and bites into a vial labelled "Armor", jumps off the ledge and transforms, facing the Titan before him.

Summary
Before she can inject the Titan serum into her blood, Historia recalls memories of seeing Ymir unconscious after emerging from her Titan form. She also remembers seeing her sister, Frieda, after Historia climbed a fence and got a splinter stuck in her hand. Frieda is horrified and scolds Historia for trying to climb over the fence to her side. She recalls being a trainee in the 104th Training Corps while Ymir scolds her for trying to do a "good deed". Rod appears before her, asking if Historia is scared.

Historia questions why Frieda did not fight. Kenny slides down from above and mumbles below his breath for Historia to hurry and become the ruler of the world.

Historia asks Rod why the previous Reiss family members avoided saving humanity from the Titans. She recalls her sister acting like a completely different person, almost as if she was possessed, calling them all sinners and afterwards looking depressed. Rod confirms Historia's suspicions of Frieda inheriting the First King's philosophy and the lost memories of the world, explaining that the First King wished for the world to be ruled by the Titans and that the reasons are only known to those who carry the memories of the world. Rod's father inherited the king's ideology and Rod and his brother Uri Reiss asked him to free humanity from the Titans' rule, but never granted their desire or disclosed the reason why. Rod's father eventually needed an heir to the role and Uri volunteered, and that in paying for this debt, he requested that Rod pray. After the procedure was over and Uri gained the power of the Titans, Rod looked into his brother's eyes and knew what it meant. Uri had become the creator of the world, an all-powerful being: God.



Rod explains that humanity's fate lies in God's hands, whether it be to perish the world or save it. Rod's eventual goal is to revive God back into the world and pray to it, and apologizes to Historia for not disclosing this information earlier, saying that he did not have a choice. Historia thinks to herself that she can either leave the fate of humanity in the hands of Eren, who can not save it, or take the role of her ancestors and save it. Rod takes Historia's arms and says that he prays, and she agrees in her mind. She remembers Ymir saying that she can not tell her how to live, furthering her mission to eventually become God and save humanity, and that it is what Rod wants. Ymir tells Historia to live her life with pride, and suddenly Historia angrily flings the Titan serum on the ground, breaking it. Rod is horrified and grabs her, but she counters and flings him onto the ground, breaking Rod's back. Historia yells that Rod is telling her whatever he can think of to make her do what he wants, and that he is not going to kill her. Historia grabs Rod's handbag and heads towards Eren, meanwhile with Kenny excitedly saying that things are getting interesting.



Eren asks what Historia is doing as she unlocks the chains binding him. He yells that she is part of the chosen Reiss line and must eat him, painstakingly saying that it is bad for humanity if he continues to live, urging her to eat him as he says he says it is too painful to live any more. She hits him across the head, calling him stupid and a crybaby and berates the idea of destroying the Titans, saying that she is the enemy of mankind. In a rage, she explains that she is letting him escape and when it is over, she will destroy mankind. Rod, still slumped on the ground and no longer able to walk, crawls over to the quickly evaporating serum. He licks up the serum as he mumbles about returning to his father, brother, and Frieda. A giant spine explodes from Rod and a skeletal form appears, staring directly at Eren as the impact forces him back. Kenny curses Rod for turning into a Titan while Eren yells for Historia to run and let Rod eat him, but she refuses, unlocking his leg shackles. She says that despite being the enemy of humanity, she is Eren's friend. She also says that she can not be a good girl and does not want to become God. Thinking of Eren, Ymir and Frieda, she vows that if anyone in the world says they are not needed, she will let them know that it is not true and rescue them regardless of the situation, successfully releasing all of Eren's leg shackles. The sudden pressure of hot steam forces her back towards the hard cavern Wall.



Mikasa catches Historia before she can collide with the Wall, asking if Historia is okay. Levi, Jean, and Connie attempt to unlock Eren's hand shackles. Levi urges Connie to hurry up with identifying the keys to the locks as Connie curses himself finding them, and Jean warns Eren that they not only have to deal with Titans, but Kenny's incoming squad. Levi notices the chapel ceiling is collapsing as they successfully release Eren from the shackles and escape just in time for a large boulder to strike the place where Eren was chained. Levi curses as he realizes they are in trouble, estimating Rod Reiss's Titan form to be larger than the Colossus Titan itself. The Titan arises above the crumbling ceiling as Kenny meets up with his men and warns them not to come any closer before his words are suddenly cut off. Eren fervently questions why Rod is not eating him as he is still in the same position, dreading everyone's demise.

He wonders if he should turn into a Titan, but realizes that his Titan form will be crushed regardless of its size and everyone will die. Surveying his friends who are close to him, he continues to express his feelings of uselessness and saying he was never humanity's great hope, but something catches his eye: a small vial labelled "Armor" that fell out of Rod's handbag. The team considers their choices as all of them individually express their grim chances.

Historia mockingly asks if Eren intends to let them all hold hands before they die, because they are "enemies of humanity", with a shocked look from Eren. Levi apologizes to Eren for always leaving him with the choice, but he tells him to do what he wants. Remembering the Female Titan's chase of Levi's old squad in the Titan Forest and him trusting in his friends, Eren apologizes in his mind and asks them for one thing: to let him, just once, believe in himself. Taking the small bottle labelled "Armor" and eating it, Eren appears before Rod Reiss, transforming into a new Titan form as hope expands.

Trivia

 * While the label on the Titan serum is only acknowledged as reading "Armor" by Eren, the serum vial which Eren bites into bears the kanji reading "Armor Braun" (ヨロイ　ブラウン), which is a direct reference to Reiner Braun and his alter ego, the Armored Titan. The canon relation, if any, between this serum and Reiner is unknown.